My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
