Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
