Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
