well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
