So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
