I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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