Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
