when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
