I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
