I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
