My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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