recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize