So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
