so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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