Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We don't watch enough power rangers
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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