Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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