i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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