Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize