Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
