Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
