You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
