Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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