What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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