She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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