if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
