your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
