He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
