I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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