fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
