No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Semen is not good for contacts.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
