I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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