Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
There r osticjed everywhere
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
