I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
