i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
