Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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