Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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