Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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