Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
