Say something about gay babies.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
