I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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