i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
