im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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