You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
