Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
