Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
