I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
