Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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