Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
