omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
