mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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