No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
