Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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