I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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