I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
