Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
