Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize