it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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