And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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