god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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