If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
