He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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