"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
