I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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