my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
