I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
