I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
