Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i drank out of a bidet.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
