It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
