Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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