Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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